Greetings from Justinland

1 year

Wow, read what  Tony Messenger of the Columbia Tribune wrote today on the sad anniversary of Jesse`s murder.   Tony has done a great job all year humanizing this tragic story.

Also , please keep Linda and her girls in your heart today 

I`ll be home tomorrow, maybe to tell everything that I learned in the desert, although what happens in Arizona stays in Arizona (wink)   

Guilty!

Anybody surprised?

The Trial

Like everyone who cared about Jesse Valencia or came to care about Jesse after his murder, I have been closely following the trial of Steve Rios which has been taking place this week in Columbia, Missouri.

I never knew Jesse in life, but his mother, Linda, tells me that we would have liked each other.  I think I saw in him the boy I was 10 years ago, trying to find my place in the world, wrestling with some of the same demons.

I eventually landed on my feet. Who knows into what he might have blossomed if his life hadn’t been cut short early last June.

So far in the trial, there have been no Perry Mason moments. However there has been enough dirty little secrets, casual sex and suicidal gestures to attract the attention of that beacon of justice, (ya right) Court TV.   You know how they love an ugly murder that is liberally sprinkled with sex, and this trial has not disappointed.

In one way this is a good thing; the public needs to hear the message loud and clear that, damn it, you can’t kill us just because we are gay! But on the other hand, Jesse deserves better than to be exploited for their ratings.

Being a keen observer of the human mind….OK, at least a trained professional, I kept waiting for Steve Rios to confess to his crime and perhaps try for a plea to a lesser charge. You know, take it like a man. I recall the only time I was ever picked for a jury.  Once that ‘jury of his peers’ was assembled and seated, the accused quickly confessed and tried to get himself a deal.  The judge told us that this happens a lot and that was why it is important to take jury duty seriously. 

A waiting jury calls the bluff of the guilty.

Doc Hawk has a problem with the whole concept of a ‘jury of your peers’ when brown skinned people have to face a jury of 12 white people.  Pale and blond JJ does not bother to argue when Hawk claims that the judicial deck is stacked again people of color.  I don’t have the credentials. If Johnny Cochran taught us anything, it is that jury selection is EVERYTHING.

The jury is reported to be made up of nine 40ish white women and 3 men, no 20ish Latino cops.  I think a majority of women is probably good for the prosecution because 40ish women tend to have 20ish sons that they would not wish to see brutally murdered, alternative lifestyle or not.  Women, too, seem to have less of that knee-jerk homophobia that you see in some of the good old boys in rural Missouri.

Just as I figured, Jesse’s lifestyle is being put on trial. The defense apparently has a parade of Jesse’s ex-lovers that they would like to suggest as alternative killers.  Reasonable doubt and all. Guess what else?  Jesse’s apartment was (gasp) untidy, therefore all the CSI/hard science kinda evidence is invalid.  To that I say, BFD!   Dirty laundry and participating in casual sex seems to be as much a part of college life as taking English 101.

I don’t know if Steve Rios is guilty or not, only he knows that. His behavior sure seems to be consistent with that of a guilty man,  and the amount of circumstantial evidence could choke a Missouri mule, but the timeline troubles me.   I’m an optimist who would like to believe that, like Bill Clinton, he’s just another dumb guy that let his dick get him into terrible trouble. He swore today under oath that he didnt do it.  And Clinton never had sex with that woman.

Of course there there is a great big leap from lying about sex to cover your philandering ass (done it myself) to murder (not my style)  And while on the subject of lying and philandering, look, if you want to have sex with other men, fine with me.  Pull up to the banquet and dig in brother, but don’t  EVER lie to your pretty wife and put her health at risk by having unprotected sex.   It’s wrong

Final deliberations today and then the it goes to the jury. So, what do you think?

Jesse: 3 months later

I know I have had my fun with the 'Who's That George?' game. I am declaring Dante the winner! He gets up early and knows how to work a search engine. I would dedicate a round of 'Who's That Judson?' in his honor. But he is the Only Judson I know.

Miss Erin reminded us in the comments section that Jesse has now been gone 3 months. I thought I would move her comments to the main section, so everyone could take a moment to remember. I didn't know Jesse. Erin did and she is determined to be the voice that was silenced. Even though we have some fun here in Justinland, Jesse stays in our hearts...and on some of our feets.

Steve Rios enters his formal plea at 9am on Tuesday in Columbia. I wish I could be there, but I have been slacking around on my non-vacation for two weeks and I really have to get back to work. Some interesting little things about Rios have turned up in the Columbia paper lately, like he had been charged with failing to register his car and driving without a license. Not huge offenses, but it does show a certain disregard for the law. Not a good quality in a cop.

And guess what? George Bush is going to be in town at the same time. We will have to wait to see who gets the bigger headline.

Here is the comment from Erin:

This is an odd category to post this in, but everyone please think of Jesse on Tuesday(tomorrow). Rios has to enter a formal plea that day. Today is three months by the date that Jesse was stolen from us. Yesterday marked the 7 year anniversary that Jesse had a terrible car accident and was literally on death's doorstep. He lay in a coma for days as we all kept beside him in a silent vigil. It seems to me that it was not intended for Jesse to live long, and I cannot understand why. What a tremendous waste. Please think of him tomorrow. Whether you take a moment of silence, drink a Diet Coke, listen to some Indigo Girls, or sip a glass of wine.... remember my sweet friend. I will go to his grave tomorrow and sit beside where he rests. I will look to the rolling hills that he called home and feel the Indian Winds blow through my hair. I will go be near Jesse, my twin, my soulmate, my number one fan. I will sing to him as he always commanded me to do each time we spoke. I will sing to him tomorrow. Keep Jesse in your thoughts.
Much Love~ Erin

Killer Smile

A Jesse Update

Earlier this month, Tony Messenger from the Columbia Tribune wrote about a 40 minute phone interview he had with Steve Rios, live from the State Psych Hospital in Fulton. Dr JJ found it a fascinating peek into the mind of a sociopath/ killer. For the record, I haven’t had any faith in ‘innocent until proven guilty’ since OJ couldn’t get the glove to fit, so don’t expect adjectives like ‘accused’ and ‘alledged’ from me.

And gee whiz, guess what? Right after that interview, Rios had to get himself a new lawyer. Cause and effect? You decide.

So, I wrote to Tony Messenger and said something like "Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Rios wants some sympathy and compassion. Whatevah! What about Mrs. Valencia? How about some compassion for her?" Because all of us here in Justinland know that Linda and her girls are having a rough time and I don’t just mean financially. And we all know about the power the press.

Remember Woodward and Bernstein?

Our new friend, Miss Erin had the same idea and also called Tony Messenger.

Anyway, I got a nice couple of notes back from Mr. Messenger. He’s a good guy and is as confused about Rios as the rest of us.

Last Friday, a smiling Steve and his new lawyers appeared before the judge in Columbia. Rios waived his right to hear the evidence against him. Don’t ask me why. Maybe hearing that your DNA showed up under Jesse’s nails is incompatible with a world view that YOU are the misunderstood victim in this crime.

Miss Linda was in the courtroom and Rios smiled at her. I read somewhere that co-workers of Steve Rios said he was the kind of policeman that would stop and smile at little children so they would think that policemen were their friends. Policemen aren’t scary.

The smile upset Linda.

Yesterday, Tony Messenger wrote a new article for the Trib. You can read it here.

September 7th is the day he enters a plea. We will be waiting.

Also yesterday, and not really off topic, I see that our good friend, Dick Cheney went way out on a limb and told some folk in Iowa that legislating gay marriage should be left up to the individual states.

Because as we all know, there is a pink sheep in every family, including the Veeps.

"Lynne and I have a gay daughter, so it's an issue that our family is very familiar with," Cheney said Tuesday. "With respect to the question of relationships, my general view is that freedom means freedom for everyone. People ... ought to be free to enter into any kind of relationship they want to.

To that, I reply, “Well duh, Dick! Tell it to your friends.” Why is it that us family oriented lesbigay people get some folks (friends of Dick) so upset if we want to marry and form families with the ones we love? Why is it perfectly OK (and even encouraged) to marry and ruin the life of some poor woman who’s only mistake is that she loves us. Unless you have an exceedingly understanding wife, most ladies won’t put up with your boyfriend.

When we are free to form loving, legal and open relationships, our sexuality can’t be used against us. We can’t be blackmailed. Corrupt governors of New Jersey can’t come out of the closet proclaiming themselves ‘Gay Americans’ after their boyfriend threatens to kiss and tell. Closeted cops don’t kill to hide their dirty little secret..

Officer Rios Speaks

And you can read what he had to say here

Paying it Forward

Wow!

The Sox for Jesse Auction ended yesterday evening with the final bid from my humble little sox at $75.00. Yeah, I am amazed too...or maybe not really, because the lucky winner was a great lady I have known for awhile and someone who appreciated a quality handknit sock.

Maybe more important, she was very sick a few months back and all her friends and fans secretly got together and knitted individual afghan squares that were worked into a giant love blanket. What a surprise! I was proud to have participated in that project too.

As much as I believe that I need oxygen to breathe and that gravity makes things fall, I believe in the concept of Paying it Forward. Good deeds are like money in the 1st National Bank of Karma. Adam the Witch would tell us that it is the Wiccan Rule of Three. Aint that right, Bro?

Now for those of you that are crying into your coffee this AM because you didnt win the FINE sox, here is a ONCE IN A LIFETIME SECOND CHANCE

1.You deposit any amount above the cost of the yarn ($15) into my PayPal account (Justin@chasinghawks.com)

2. I knit you a FINE pair of wool sox, custom made to your exact foot measurements in your choice of manly stripes or delicate girly lace. You might even get a choice of colors
3. I send the money to Mrs Valencias travel fund.
4. I get the therapeutic zen high of knitting

So act now, Its a Win-Win Situation

Editted to add: Dr Markie reminds me that not everyone has a Paypal account. Check and cash are all good

Hey y'all, Linda Valencia has graciously shared a lovely poem with us that Jesse wrote right before he died. I found it to be summery, bittersweet and deserving of an entry all it's own, instead of buried in the comments section

I sit here to rest in the uneven broken earth. I can feel it beneath my bare feet. I can see distantly the old grey barn, nearly collapsing under the weight of time.

The hill looks a little greener today as I breathe in the fresh air, I am reminded of Honeysuckle, leaves fresh from the rain.
Its quiet here and all that makes a sound are the crickets that have began to come out as the sun slowly slips away.

I remember it, the summer heat, the long walk down the road and its all too familiar as I stroll down the beaten graveled path, and the Indian winds blow through the high corn fields.

It’s Youth. Escaped from all harm of the unpleasant memories that touched me here.

They certainly can't touch me now.

Socks for Jesse

Listen up people, because here is the opportunity of a lifetime.

I am offering the prettiest sox I have ever knitted on Ebay right now and if you are the lucky winner, these FINE 100% one of a kind wool sox can be YOURS

All the money I make from the sale of these FINE sox will go directly to Linda Valencia and her family.

You know you can trust me to do the right thing. So bid on these babies and your feet will stay warm all winter

You should be able to click on the Ebay word and find these FINE sox, but if not, they are item #3920539681.

And feel free to link your site to mine; The more traffic the better

Jesse: One Month Later

It has been a month now since shocked neighbors discovered Jesse Valencia’s lifeless body in their yard. For a time frame perspective, think back to that same day we all powered up our computers to learn that Ronald Reagan has died.

I was no fan of Reagan, of course. My family deals daily with Alzheimer’s, so I didn’t consider the passing of a 93 year old man with Alzheimer’s a national tragedy.

But there was that boy. That picture of a beautiful smiling boy with his throat slashed over in Columbia. Now, this was a tragedy. I’m a psychologist and a curious lad. I wanted to know who and more important why.

So I wrote about it, because I write about everything that interests me and I tend to speak up and speak out. I am also a mouthy lad. As they always say Silence=Death. Y’all asked me to keep you updated, so that is what i am doing.

Turns out Jesse Valencia was one of those people that spoke up and out too.

While the nation buried Reagan, the case enfolded. The players became fleshed out in the news. Jesse’s friends reported that he was having an affair with a married police officer. A married cop that had the late night patrol in Jesse’s neighborhood and wouldn’t leave him alone. The word ‘stalking’ was used. Jesse told friends he was ready to speak to the Police Chief.

The Columbia police didn’t appear to be too excited about the ‘personal relationship’ of one of their brothers with a murder victim. I wondered out loud how aggressive they would be in investigating the off-duty activities of one of its members, but I live in Kansas City where the police …well that’s another topic.

The Missourian outted the officer; Steve Rios. People spoke up in his defense. "He’s a great guy, a good officer and friend, a loving husband and father." Well sure, have you ever heard friends and family go on teevee and say "I always knew he was a homicidal freak and someday this would happen" I never have.

Officer Rios’ behavior became bizarre. His stories became inconsistent. He threatened to kill himself twice and ended up in the state mental hospital where he remains today. He appeared to be guilty as hell to young Dr Travis sitting 100 miles to the west and only knowing what he reads in the media. There was motive, there was opportunity. There was a really long wait for physical evidence to come back from the lab.

Something interesting happened here in Justinland. My site started to get a lot of hits. Like triple my usual volume. Jesse’s family and friends began to leave messages in my comments section. Erin even told me that Jesse was sometimes called JJ. that brought tears to my eyes.

Our hearts and cyber hugs went out to Linda and Maria Valencia. Friends shared touching stories. The comments section evolved into an electronic memorial. I sometimes think of Justinland as a real but imaginary place, like Camelot or Pepperland. You have erected a statue of Jesse in the park. It’s been a wonderful, if bittersweet thing to host.

Jazz called his mother just to say 'I Love You, Mom'

We also learned that there is evil in the world and its name is Bart. Boo hiss!

Steve Rios was arrested last week. The crime lab found his DNA under Jesse’s fingernails. Motive, opportunity and now physical evidence. Innocent until proven guilty aside, it is looking like we have an answer to 'who'.

'Why' still baffles me.

Much love and light to all of you,
Justin