Hey, in case you missed this during hurricanes, indictments and weddings, Mr Sulu is GAY! Read about it HERE.
Live Long and Prosper, Dude.
Various Artists: Dancin' with Thunder (The Official Music Of The PBR Professional Bull Riders)
For when I don`t care what you think
: Vivaldi's Cello
for when i want to impress someone with my intellect
Annie Lennox: Diva
I have loved this lady forever
Morrissey: The Best of Morrissey
I am the last of the international playboys
From the Rainbow Network
Apparently Kraft is sponsoring the swimming events. I vote for more Speedoes and less of those wet suits like we saw during the summer Olympics, but that is just me.
Check it Out and go buy some cream cheese. I will always have a soft spot in my heart for Kraft dinner because when Maria first came here from Honduras, mac and cheese (and bananas) was the only thing we could get her to eat.
And did you know that According to John Mariani, author of "The Dictionary of American Food and Drink," Kraft now sells more than one million boxes of the dinners every day! The Kraft dinners are so popular, in fact, that children and some adults have been known to turn up their noses when offered a rich and delicious homemade version
It has been a month now since shocked neighbors discovered Jesse Valencia’s lifeless body in their yard. For a time frame perspective, think back to that same day we all powered up our computers to learn that Ronald Reagan has died.
I was no fan of Reagan, of course. My family deals daily with Alzheimer’s, so I didn’t consider the passing of a 93 year old man with Alzheimer’s a national tragedy.
But there was that boy. That picture of a beautiful smiling boy with his throat slashed over in Columbia. Now, this was a tragedy. I’m a psychologist and a curious lad. I wanted to know who and more important why.
So I wrote about it, because I write about everything that interests me and I tend to speak up and speak out. I am also a mouthy lad. As they always say Silence=Death. Y’all asked me to keep you updated, so that is what i am doing.
Turns out Jesse Valencia was one of those people that spoke up and out too.
While the nation buried Reagan, the case enfolded. The players became fleshed out in the news. Jesse’s friends reported that he was having an affair with a married police officer. A married cop that had the late night patrol in Jesse’s neighborhood and wouldn’t leave him alone. The word ‘stalking’ was used. Jesse told friends he was ready to speak to the Police Chief.
The Columbia police didn’t appear to be too excited about the ‘personal relationship’ of one of their brothers with a murder victim. I wondered out loud how aggressive they would be in investigating the off-duty activities of one of its members, but I live in Kansas City where the police …well that’s another topic.
The Missourian outted the officer; Steve Rios. People spoke up in his defense. "He’s a great guy, a good officer and friend, a loving husband and father." Well sure, have you ever heard friends and family go on teevee and say "I always knew he was a homicidal freak and someday this would happen" I never have.
Officer Rios’ behavior became bizarre. His stories became inconsistent. He threatened to kill himself twice and ended up in the state mental hospital where he remains today. He appeared to be guilty as hell to young Dr Travis sitting 100 miles to the west and only knowing what he reads in the media. There was motive, there was opportunity. There was a really long wait for physical evidence to come back from the lab.
Something interesting happened here in Justinland. My site started to get a lot of hits. Like triple my usual volume. Jesse’s family and friends began to leave messages in my comments section. Erin even told me that Jesse was sometimes called JJ. that brought tears to my eyes.
Our hearts and cyber hugs went out to Linda and Maria Valencia. Friends shared touching stories. The comments section evolved into an electronic memorial. I sometimes think of Justinland as a real but imaginary place, like Camelot or Pepperland. You have erected a statue of Jesse in the park. It’s been a wonderful, if bittersweet thing to host.
Jazz called his mother just to say 'I Love You, Mom'
We also learned that there is evil in the world and its name is Bart. Boo hiss!
Steve Rios was arrested last week. The crime lab found his DNA under Jesse’s fingernails. Motive, opportunity and now physical evidence. Innocent until proven guilty aside, it is looking like we have an answer to 'who'.
'Why' still baffles me.
Much love and light to all of you,
Ok, you know how I am always saying that I am about light and not heat…well at least in theory. Michael tells me to just take a deep breathe and let it go. But ah shucks and gee whiz! This kind of garbage inspires me to use language that is not appropriate in front of mothers. I’m hot!
Jesse Valencia’s Mother, Linda brought this horrid, ignorant webpage to our attention in the comments section. Click on the link if you like, but it makes me nauseated.
from Mrs. Valencia
Please read Jesse Valencia Gospel Memorial and all of you pray for Bart’s soul. Pray that Bart will lose the hatred he has for himself and all others. https://www.bartmcqueary.com/valenciamemorial.htm Pray for him he needs to seek professional help. Ria41 I do not want you to read what this mentally ill person said stay away from evil sites like that one honey. You and I and your sister know where Jesse is. He is in Heaven above with Jesus. We knew Jesse better than anyone in THIS world. To all others who read this I am Jesse’s Mother and I think it would help a lot if you could e-mail Jesses oldest sister Ria41@aol.com and just talk to her. I know that just reading this site helps me and makes me feel better. Thank you Justin for creating it. Thank you all for the kind and wonderful things you have said about our Jesse. We miss him very much.
Linda Valencia Feel free to e-mail me and talk to me also, all of you, about my son.
Even Jesus would consider bitch slapping poor misguided Bart. He wouldn’t do it, but he would consider it.
Looks like Bart is a member of the American Taliban along with that scourge of Kansas, Fred Phelps, or Phucking Phred Phelps as I call him when there are not ladies present. You know the ’God Hates Fags’ guy from Topeka. Poor Fred, the only followers he can find are his misled inbred grandchildren. I’ve seen them, poor little grade school kids that ought to be playing baseball and Fred has them picketing on the streets all day, holding up signs of 2 male stick figures having anal sex.
Lovely, huh? Somebody has issues. Well adjusted straight people just dont get that upset over two men having sex, unless they are doing it on the street corners of Topeka
My Grandfather was a Holy man; An Episcopal Bishop, for the record. He taught his Grandson that God loved us all. Oh, and his brother was as gay as a Mardi Gras Float. Holidays were always fun when the brothers were alive.
Well, I aint going to hell, because I believe hell is a place you create in your own mind. It’s a place where you are so consumed with hatred and darkness and fear that you can’t stand anybody, most especially yourself. Bart may be right about one thing. I believe that Steve Rios is in his own private hell right now.
I’m a lucky man, I’m living in light and love. How about you?
Update: Here's another message from Jesse's Mother, Linda
Please read Jesse Valencia gospel Memorial by Bart mcqueary, it is a horrible horrible thing about my son and I have been recieving threatening messages from people from that site. Is there anything I can do to stop them from contacting me or having that evil site online? I don't know how to handle this. Any ideas?
Trouble with guys like Bart and Phred is they know the law and their First Amendment rights. Phred is even a disbarred lawyer. Matthew Shepard's family unsucessfully tried to have Phred's Internet Service Provider shut down his hateful sight and was told the here in America, Phred has a right to his opinion, as much as the ISP didn't like it.
So, fellow lovers of the light, any ideas for Mrs Valencia?
Damn it! I don’t enjoy following horrific crimes against our gay brothers and sisters. I’d rather be swapping recipes or complaining about Bush or Miss B, but as they say Silence=Death.
This week, the Gwen Araujo murder trial was declared a mistrial because the jury could not decide whether the three defendants were guilty of first- or second-degree murder. First degree murder involves premeditation, second degree is more spontaneous.
Either way, a mistrial is a load of cattle feces that prolongs Gwen’s family’s agony, wastes the taxpayer’s money and sends a strong message to transgendered people that they just don’t matter.
Over in Columbia, Missouri there has still been no arrest warrants issued in the murder of Jesse Valencia, although there have been some interesting developments. Officer Rios (is believed) to remain in the State Mental hospital at Fulton (a horrible, scary place, BTW) His life is already ruined. Wisely, an independent prosecutor has been appointed to avoid any whiff of police cover-up. Several of Jesse’s friends and family have left comments right here in Justinland honoring the memory of this beautiful young man. We are all waiting to see what the physical evidence will show.
Russell Henderson, one of the convicted killers of Matthew Shepard has appealed that his life sentence was too harsh and that his lawyer didn’t properly inform him that if he confessed to the crime, he might actually be sentenced. Like Adam the Witch sometimes says ‘Boo-freakin’- hoo’
From the San Francisco Chronicle Editorial page, commenting on the Araujo mistrial
“What is perhaps most frustrating is how preventable this tragedy was. Hate crimes can only flourish where ignorance is deemed acceptable; education is the key to ensuring it never happens again. If these men had grown up learning about the different ways people express gender and sexuality, Gwen Araujo would still be alive. The system failed all of us.”
Yeah! Jesse and Matthew too
If you can’t love one another, at least tolerate them.
50 years ago the Supreme Court pronounced that ‘separate but equal’ was just not good enough. You can't treat two groups differently and say that they are equal. That’s unconstitutional.
Coincidentally, or maybe not, same gender couples can get married in the great state of Massachusetts as of today. Not a ‘separate but equal’ civil union, but married.
Now there is a reason to visit Boston that is even better than a chance to see Johnny Damon and the Red Sox.
However, if you are tried of living, equally, among straight people, you can always move here. Developers in South Florida are building a most attractive gay closet. Put in an 18hole golf course and Hawk and I are SO there.
Oh no, this is 2 special days in one
First, it’s Administrative Assistants Day, which is sort of the same thing as Secretary’s Day. Cynics might think that it’s just a day invented by Hallmark and FTD to sell cards and flowers, but ADD has been around since 1952.
I love my secretary/receptionist. She is smart, ever cheerful and damn good at her job.
She can juggle the phones and computer like a multi-armed Hindu deity. We never run out of supplies and she has the menu of every restaurant that delivers in her drawer and their number programmed into the fax machine. She anticipates when I need coffee. She can put an uninvited pharmaceutical rep in his place with a withering glance. She knows the URL of all the good games on Yahoo. She’s kind to the clients.
You’re the best, gurl. Take some money out of petty cash and buy yourself a nice present.
Second, it’s also the Day of Silence, which is a project of the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) in collaboration with the United States Student Association (USSA). This is a student-led day of action where those who support making anti-LGBT bias unacceptable in schools take a day-long vow of silence to recognize and protest the discrimination and harassment -- in effect, the silencing -- experienced by LGBT students and their allies.
Except my boys in the Tuesday Tribe know that Silence=Death, so instead of keeping quiet, they joined other local Lesbigay teens and their straight allies and took themselves to the busiest intersection in town and waved signs at the passing motorists that said fun stuff like ‘Honk if you love Queers’ and ‘Honk if you Support Gay Rights’
I dropped by on my way home to check on them to see how it was going and to make sure the boys remembered that this was a protest and not a Pride Parade. This is Kansas City, you know. Happily there was lots of honking and thumbs up from the passing motorists.
Phucking Phred Phelps did not show up. He has taken his phreak show to the East Bay Area to get some camera time at the trial of the 3 accused murderers of Gwen Araujo.
You remember Gwen, right. She’s why all of this is important.
Sometimes here in Justinland, the editorial staff (me) wastes a lot of bandwidth preaching to choir. As a boy with not one but two hubbies, naturally I believe that not only should gay marriage be legal, I believe that we should be encouraged to register at Bloomy’s, Nordy’s and Tiffany’s.
And Target. Club Wedd is really fun; you just cruise through the store and point a laser gun at everything your little heart desires. It all gets stored in the big Target master computer.
Marriage is such a good idea that Bush and friends announced today that they are willing to spend $1.5B to promote marriage and for training to help couples develop interpersonal skills that sustain "healthy marriages."
Your tax dollars at work
That’s a lot of money! It's even more than he wants to spend just to find out that Mars is covered in red rocks and dust.
Unless someone has whispered to him that Marvin Martian still has the Iludium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulater aimed at the Earth. If that thang isn't a weapon of mass destruction,I don't know what is.
But I digress
Now, raise your hand if you believe that our government should stay out of the marriage counseling business and leave it to us professionals. I mean, I don’t try to tell the President how he should be running the country.
Wait, Yes I do.
Call me a cynic, but this young, gay clinical psychologist with a developing practice and two husbands is wondering if he will be able to get his grubby little counseling paws on any of that $1.5B, because you know damn well those federal $$$$ will only be thrown at mixed gender couples.
Now raise your hand if you smell the faintest whiff of gay-marriage backlash.
From the meaningless stats department, that ever reliable source, the latest USA Today/Gallop poll said that American's views are sharply divided on gay rights, with most against same-sex "marriage" but fewer opposed to "civil unions,"
The word "marriage" makes a difference, suggests the latest USA TODAY/ CNN/Gallup Poll, based on phone interviews with 1,003 adults Jan. 9-11.
A majority (53%) opposes a law that "would allow homosexual couples to legally get married," while 24% favor it. But significantly fewer (41%) oppose "civil unions," giving homosexual couples "some of the legal rights of married couples."
‘Civil unions’ to me means is a lot like having our very own drinking fountain in the back of the bus.
Maybe even more significantly, a good 25% of those polled just didn’t care.
Live and let live.
For example, if Pop Tart Britney gets drunk, gets married in Vegas then annulled within 24hrs, I say live and let live. Do I believe the talentless little bitch was making a mockery out of mixed gender marriages?
Nope, not really.
Because marriage, ultimately isn’t really about a seal of approval from the state. It’s about those promises you make to each other under a starry South Dakota sky, or supporting his dreams in the past and for the futures. Or gently nudging when those dreams get off track. Or remembering that harmony within the family is more important than being right all of time or that he gets grouchy if doesn’t have a Diet Coke in the fridge so you stop on the way home, even if it is late.
It’s about heading out to work on a snowy morning and finding the ice scraped from your car or finding a funny cartoon in your e-mail.
Its about looking at paint chips at Home Depot together and moping up after the washing machine floods again and laughing through it.
Or not laughing
And no state can legislate that.
thanks to our friend Ken for bringing this to my attention. It's good to be e-mail buds with a librarian
December 19, 2003
Dr. Judd Marmor, Who Led Change in View of Gays, Dies at 93
By LAURIE TARKAN
Dr. Judd Marmor, a psychiatrist who was influential in having homosexuality removed from the American Psychiatric Association's official list of clinical disorders, died on Tuesday in Los Angeles, his son, Dr. Michael F. Marmor, said. He was 93.
In the early 1960's, Dr. Marmor, a psychoanalyst, took the radical position that homosexuality was a variant of sexual behavior as opposed to a deviation or illness. He also contended that homosexuality had multiple roots — genetic, biological and psychosocial — and did not stem from a dysfunctional mother or a home life fraught with problems, as was the theory of the day.
As the vice president of the American Psychiatric Association, he was forthright in saying that the criteria that would normally be applied for a mental illness did not apply to homosexuality.
In 1974, amid a great political struggle within the association, its members voted to remove homosexuality from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, changing a position it had held for nearly 100 years.
The action was considered pivotal in advancing the cause of gay rights.
"His stance was particularly important because he was so widely respected and he was a psychoanalyst, which at that time held more sway," said Dr. Robert Galatzer-Levy, co-author of "The Course of Gay and Lesbian Lives."
Dr. Marmor was elected president of the association later in 1974.
"He was someone from the middle of mainstream American psychiatry taking a very strong position on these issues, where the only other people who were speaking out were those on the periphery," Dr. Galatzer-Levy said.
Critics accused him of caving into the mounting pressure in the 1960's to treat homosexuality as normal, rather than a deviation.
In an interview with The New York Times in 1986, Dr. Marmor said,"Society tends to treat male homosexuals as if they had a choice about their sexual orientation, when in fact they have no more choice about how they develop than heterosexuals do."
Dr. Marmor was also influential in many other issues in psychiatry, including the trend away from pure psychoanalysis to shorter-term dynamic psychotherapy. He argued that many more people could be treated successfully in a shorter time. Dr. Marmor was also a proponent of therapy based on scientific principles, rather than theory.
Judd Marmor was born in London and came to the United States a few years later with his family. He graduated from Columbia University and received his medical degree there in 1933. In 1946, he moved to Los Angeles, became a psychoanalyst and emerged as a favorite among the Hollywood elite.
He held several positions, including director of psychiatry at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center and professor of psychiatry at the University of Southern California. He maintained his private practice until his death.
The author of more than 350 scientific papers, he also wrote or edited eight books. He wrote essays in support of civil and human rights, against McCarthyism and in opposition to the nuclear bomb and the Vietnam War.
His wife, Katherine Marmor, died in 1999. They were well-known collectors of modern art.
In addition to his son, Dr. Marmor is survived by two grandchildren.